Question from Gavin. M: Can I use sending out love to someone to seduce that person, I’m madly in love with a girl on my campus?  She keeps ignoring me, I love her.

Answer:
Well, yes, very definitively, I call the technique the “Super Blessing”. It is based on sending love and appreciation.
HOWEVER, you have to ask yourself one question.
Why would you want to seduce someone who obviously isn’t attracted to you already?

Can you honestly answer me this question?

Gavin. M: I think that I will be happier, I’m really attracted to her. I would feel good about myself, if we had a relationship. It will increase my sense of self-worth. I will feel appreciation for myself. I will be somebody.

Here is the deal. Can you for a minute, imagine yourself with a high self-esteem, high-confidence, healthy self-appreciation and high sense of self-worth?
See how it feels from that standpoint. You see from that vantage standpoint, you are more likely to be a “vibrational match” for the type of person that you desire. Providing that you accept the idea of a relationship, you might attract such a person without any particular effort on your part.
I know this first hand. Because, when I became a “vibrational match” for the kind of person I wanted. I attracted and got involved with that person without any particular effort, no seduction game.

When you see someone and you decide that you would like to know this person more for maybe have a relationship with, and if you feel that you need some kind of tactic to attract that person.
Actually, you have to understand that it is not a signal to use some kind of tactic. It is a signal that you need to change to be a “vibrational match” for what you want.
If you have the desire to be in a relationship with a certain kind of person, and you are not already in that relationship assume that you are not a “vibrational match” for what you want.
Otherwise, you would be already involved in a relationship.
You need to change to become a ” vibrational match”. People think they need to use tactics to get the other person instead of changing themselves.

I understand in the today world, there is such a mass belief in powerlessness. Almost all the movies and pop music out there are selling us the idea of powerlessness.
Let me tell you, you have the power to change yourself and be a vibrational match for what you want and attract what you want effortlessly.

If you have to use a seduction tactic to get someone, you implicitly imply that you are not a deserving and abundant person when it comes to creating a relationship. You rule yourself out of getting what you want naturally without effort.
Often, you will hear people say “when I search for’ a partner,  it is difficult, and I don’t find one. However, when I have a partner then other potential partners seem to pop up from everywhere”

What they are really saying is this as I wasn’t a “vibrational match” for what I wanted I could not get it. But, when I became a “vibrational match” I attracted an abundance of what I wanted.

I experience this all time, and you could too. If instead of using seduction or flirting tactics, you would change the person you are. Here, the old saying apply: Change yourself and your world will change.

Free Audio Shows You How To Instantly Release ANY Unwanted Thought, Feeling Or Belief

For a while I took a pause from reading a lot of books, but, I recently returned to reading a lot. I’m currently reading The Science of Breath by Swami Rama and Rudolph Ballentine. At the end of last year, I read a very interesting book about relationship from Abraham-Hicks. That book called The Vortex angered many people as the concept for many will be new and may cause controversy. You can read the mixed opinions about the book on Amazon.com, I also posted an excerpt of the book in my newsletter, It made some people so angry that they unsubscribed from my newsletter.

The book is divided in six parts. The first part – Your vortex m and the law of attraction – Learning to attract joyous co-creators explains the importance of relationship in the human experience , how we attract the kind of people we have in life and how to focus with the Law Of Attraction on allowing joy to create better relationship.

The second part – Mating and the law of attraction – The perfect mate – getting one, being one , attracting one, this part is very relevant for the people trying to attract a mate with the law of attraction, many people miss the point that most of the work will be on yourself ! Key information that will probably upset many, there is the idea out there that self-change is not important. Well, self-change is critically important if you persistently fail to attract a partner this 30 pages + section of the book will help you greatly if you seek a mate.

Part three is called Sexuality and the law of attraction , I guess that this section of the book angered many people in North America as the ideas expressed in that part of the book don’t really fit with anything taught by traditional media on sexuality. Part 4 is about parenting, part 5 about the key concept of self-appreciation without it , you cannot really except to build happy relationship.

The last part is a transcript of Abraham-Hicks workshop , you also have that workshop with the CD provided with the book, the Abrahams-Hicks teaching style is close to Ramtha-style of teaching. It was OK for me, I learned one or two things from the CD.

Overall, a very good book , my rating 5 stars out 5.

		List Price: $16.95 Buy New: $9.85 You Save: $7.10 (42%) New (32) Used (18) from $7.51
ISBN13: 9781401918828, Condition: New, Notes: BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed (more)

Connecting with people and having good rapport and relationship with them is no secret, it is often something to do with beliefs and attitude. But, let keeps the beliefs and attitude aside for a second.
If your energy body and particularly your aura is small (as opposed to expanded several feet away around your body), you will not be able to connect well with people actually you will feel a distrust or shyness as you aren’t receive any information. You can remedy with a simple energy medicine routine:

Your Aura – part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfaV9ADD6Ns

Your Aura – Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErIp2A_-2Ts

The bridges radiant circuits support harmony and the exchange of information between people, particularly intuition about others (EP, page 260). Many men have their bridge circuits running in the wrong direction, it causes them to have difficulty to connect with strangers. The best, I could recommend is to consciously activate your bridge circuits (See the book Energy Psychology by Feinstein)

About the beliefs and attitude , it will be helpful to cultivate beliefs that support your self-esteem and your attempt at building good relationship. Here, I would suggest to study the Dale Carnegie.

Below is a list from Wikipedia of Dale Carnegie key principles if you study his books you will get the details.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a man’s Name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in the terms of the other man’s interest.
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. Avoid arguments.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong.
3. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Start with questions the other person will answer yes to.
6. Let the other person do the talking.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Sympathize with the other person.
10. Appeal to noble motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

You can also consider the Love Meditation.
My friend Faisal wrote a good piece on explaining how the love meditation can improve your relationship with people:

“There has been a buzz about law of attraction and seduction for a long time on the web. If you have been following Louis’s writing you would already get a very good understanding on how to work on that issue. Louis has written about love meditation a long time back and he has also made his progress public, by writing in this very blog.

I am sure you may dig those articles up by going to the archives. I have been friends with Louis for a while, besides being a great friend Louis has also been my mentor. He has helped me understand these things better, ( mind you these energy methods, law of attraction concepts, meditations are not taught in schools, at least not in North America) Since I have been practicing the love meditation and some of the other methods for a while, I thought I would share with you guys

The very aspect of practicing love meditation would open you up to endless possibilities to attracting a mate. Whether you are a male or a female, it makes no difference, when you start doing love meditation, you open up the energy channels in your heart, which ultimately attracts you to people. First things, you will notice as Louis did already, including myself, you will see that children are very attracted to you. You may also notice this with animals. They are more inclined to love energy.

As you keep your daily practice up for anywhere between 4-6 (depends on person to person, for some it may be way less) weeks should see drastic changes in your interaction with other people. They would be more attracted to you under any situations. Now you may question that I would not want to attract the wrong group of people, but this is where law of attraction kicks in, your vibrational match at that point only brings in like minded people according to your frequency, meaning that they are as much loving as you are, Now every now and then, you might come across someone totally on the other side of the energy grid than you are, it happens, just express love to them and move on.

Now at this point, (meaning you are still practicing love meditation for about 4-6 weeks), if there is an intention in your heart to attract your significant other, things will happen fast. Meaning you will manifest in your reality the girl/guy of your inner mind to your outer reality. How do I know this for a fact? Well Louis has manifested a girl just like he has imagined in his mind into his reality(you can also find that very post on this blog) and so have I! I have done this not only once but several times. For love meditation methods and techniques, you may find lots of articles based on them on this blog, I suggest start with the basicsKlaus talks about, then customize it as Louis and I have done. Once you start practicing it, you may notice some things and tweak it here and there to go along with it. I hope this helps to clarify things a little bit more. Have a great time attracting your ultimate person!”

These questions come up a lot in private messages “How to use this stuff to get my ex back ?” and “How to use this stuff to attract a mate ?”. Stuff being the techniques discussed on this blog. This isn’t “a pick up and seduction” blog but here is my take on these questions.

Let starts with the question of getting an ex back.

Before you met someone you magnetize yourself to certain characteristics that are attractive to you. May be, you are magnetic to kindness, generosity, spirit and honesty. You believe these characteristics are desirable and because your beliefs form your reality , you will tend attract people that reinforce these beliefs this include your mate.

Eventually, you start a relationship with a mate with the characteristics you value so much, you are so focused in the begin on these characteristics that you ignore other characteristics that otherwise would have been unattractive to you. You are also so much flooded by the attention of your mate that you actually have no interest to see anything wrong. You have a nice relationship focused on the positive aspects of each other.

Later on, you might for one reason or another slightly change your focus and notice that you do not like XYZ characteristics in your mate or another possible scenario, you lose your job and find difficulty to find another one, it might as a consequence fill yourself with a belief in your unworthiness, this unworthiness will be picked up by your partner and problem may arise as a result of this new belief. This is one of the possible scenario among many. Any change of beliefs will cause an adjustment of your relationships for the better, status quo or worse.

In the first case, you start to focus on aspects you do not like about your partner you change your attractor field to attract more of that. This is especially true if you keep focusing over and over about these unwanted characteristics. Over time, you find a large chunk of characteristics that you do not like, they might not had been there in the begin as some of them can be the result of new beliefs.

Once you fill yourself with the new attractor field of what you do not want from someone then your relationship will begin to decay. Very simple !
If you want to re-attract someone you will have again to focus and cherish the characteristics that brought that person into your life, but even with that there is no guarantee that this specific person will get back at you but it is certain on the other hand that you will magnetize and attract someone with the characteristics you want, this is the Law Of Attraction !

Now for the folks who want to attract a brand new mate into their life the principle are the same. Often guys make the mistake to believe that women have certain attributes and if they master certain seduction techniques they will be able to secure the love and attention of women. They believe that they need to be an alpha male to attract women, they believe women “flake”, women are this , women are that!
What is not understood is that beliefs aren’t attributes of reality, the guys who adopt these beliefs essentially create a reality where they get these response, they don’t want “Let just be a friend” response, cancel date response, etc…etc…and they think that with certain skills they can avoid these responses.

Again, the Law Of Attraction is always at play, whether you are conscious of it or not. Therefore, If you believe that people are a certain way and that you need certain tactics to get them, this is exactly what you will get.

It will be a lot more easier for these guys to write down a list of characteristics they like and want from women and get the feeling that they are attracting women with these characteristics to them. Now, this is only half of it, there is a part where ALL the repellents must be removed. The most common are “I’m not enough”,”I’m worthless” ,”I’m unworthy”,”women give up on me”.
If you have these beliefs you can be sure that will be picked up by the people you meet.

So the method is simple: Make a list of characteristics of what you want, focus on this list feel the appreciation and reinforce the belief that you are attracting that in your life (Beliefs form reality) , work to remove the resistance and limiting beliefs (EFT and may be the Sedona method are good for that)

Maturity is when you have come to term with your religion, your ethnicity, your social groups. When you are finished with all these things you can mature. Starting to learn about yourself from that standpoint is very beneficial because you no longer need to pay attention to any of the rules from these groups that you have chosen to imprison yourself.
See , may be you are a so-called African-American or a WASP, if you have to live your life by the rules of these groups, it is really impossible to be your true self on the same vein you do not grow adult by holding the hand of your father.

During this journey of evolution, we have at some point let go of past relationships, this is what I started to do last week, I bought a mp3 called the Freedom exercises from Story Waters and Lee Harris. I did the release drill on my way to Portugal little I knew that this exercise actually does work powerfully. …

I felt nothing special during the exercise itself, however, I understood the teaching for me in it. I had to let go of past relationship and release attachment. There is really no point to stay in spiritual infancy!
I came to a term with many thing already for instance, I don’t understand the nationality concept, it is a rotten thing from my standpoint, I do not want it. I met an African guy in Lisbon, he really wanted to know where I m born , where my parent were born, I do not care about any of these things, it is irrelevant, YOU DO NOT GO THERE BY STAYING HERE.
You do not want to leave your hometown because you are afraid to lose the connection to your parents and friends ? As you evolve you will no longer be compatible with your past relationships , you might attempt to keep them by fearing to be alone or something, but, it will not work.

I made a lot of new friends in Portugal, that was good because when I came back home in Valencia, two of my oldest so-called friends brutally left my life

This is where I understood that the process in the Freedom mp3 works, I knew deep in myself that I had to let go of these two people, they left my life in a rather brutal and violent manner.
Due to the violent manner they left, they understand themselves that they have no chance to ever come back. Which is fine by me!

Ask yourself if they are people you need to let go/release in your life ?

Some people involve themselves in romance then it end but they mentally continue the relationship on a mental level for years, this type of relationship needs to be released.
If you have resentment toward someone , it needs to be released.
If you feel , you could have build something with someone but for some reason it didn’t work out at the time, you really have to let go of that one too.
What hold people back is the past energy they keep recycling and using as base material to create their reality.
If Gary hurt you 15 years ago there is no point to recreate the wound in various forms and various relationships, let go of Gary completely.

I met some girl a few days ago and she tried to seduce me but she did everything wrong, it was interesting for me to observe, I will use this story to make a comment on calibration.
A very useful skill to develop. According to the selfhelpimprovement website :

Calibration is a communication skill which uses intuition. Without other people having to tell you, you develop a feeling of their intentions, beliefs and understanding. Knowing this will enable you to react appropriately to the situation. It is highly effective when relating with other people and deciding on what to do during a critical moment.

That girl lets call her , Clara, she unfortunately didn’t calibrate and made so many mishaps.
We met in a restaurant and because we smiled to each other, we started a discussion.
She seemed very interested in me. She said that she studied bio-chemistry but that now she try to pursue a career as a singer, she also told me that she is religious (Christian) , she works Saturday and Sunday in a church.

Clara tried to encourage me to take an interest in her religion, I told her that I have no interest in any religion. She continued on that path, she didn’t calibrate that what she was doing was counterproductive. I have nothing against religious people before that one I had a girlfriend who was a practising catholic, she never tried to sold me her beliefs or force them upon me , she asked me what I believe and we respected each other opinions.
Because, she didn’t try to convince me on anything, I didn’t feel annoyed to go at her church.
But that Clara lacked that intuition. She also asked me if I have a wife in another country, It was a strange question and I explained that I do not have a wife .

But, may be, she translated my answer as a signal that I’m free for someone like her.
Clara gave me a lot of compliments, she said that I m attractive and handsome, this is really a bad move from her. She had rather keep that for herself in that early stage.
I had to go and we agreed to see each other another day. She wanted to see me the next day but I pushed the date to a week. I was Ok to be her friend but not more than that.
During, our second meeting. She lost me for good as friend and as anything else.
I had things to buy so I went to a shop with her, there, I revealed to her that I’m planning trips in Portugal, Italy and Ireland for the coming summer season.
She said “I come with you!”
I answered “I d rather travel alone”

She was a bit disappointed as we walked to the next shop, she asked me about my lifestyle in my small town on the coast, I told her how it is, and I noticed that she could not really relate, she is a girl from the big city. She even didn’t like walking 10 minutes to the next shop, she asked me if I could help her to carry some of her garbage that she bought at Sfera (Spain clothes store chains). I told her to buy less garbage, she answered that she loves clothes. There is no way, I will ever travel with someone like this. When I travel, I mostly walk and I can walk an entire day with heavy backpack.

We discussed various thing then I told her that I had a talk with my mother the other day. She asked me if I talked about her to my mother, she also said that she would like to meet my mother.
Here again, she didn’t calibrate, she can’t see that I’m not interested in her the way she is interested in me. I have no reason to talk to my mother about her.
At the second shop, I went to look for a book about Portugal, there, she tried to hold me by the arm , very big gaffe. It sent me the signal that she was desperate for my attention.
I do not have much in common with that girl and we don’t have any chemistry, it was easy to calibrate that but she didn’t.

She had to leave and she asked me if she could spent sometimes at my place. I told her , she can come on a Saturday afternoon but then she has her church duty. We didn’t arrange anything.
She called me last Sunday, to ask if she could come at my place on Monday, I told her no. What she wants to do at my place anyway ? This aside, she had nothing to say to me, the conversation on the phone was very poor. So why should I invite someone who has nothing to say at my place. She said twice:
“I want to see, I want to see !” big big gaffe.
By now, It is game over for her, I can’t be her friend, because, she wants too much from me and I do not want more than a friendship but her behavior makes it impossible to have a healthy friendship.

If I had to recommend something to Clara that will be to learn about calibration and learn to not repeat all the gaffes she did.

I read a few chapters of the book “Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man” on the Google Book website. Most of her gaffes are in that book, this isn’t a perfect book and certainly not from an European cultural standpoint but it has some of the most common and universal gaffes to avoid. Acting desperate being the number one gaffe to avoid at any cost.

		List Price: $14.95 Buy Used: $1.05 You Save: $13.90 (93%) New (21) Used (27) from $1.05
Most women, generally speaking, don’t have much trouble attracting men. The problem is the men they’re attracting. Some are bum magnets. And others are pest magnets. But there is a special breed of woman (more)

Story about the limiting belief : Interesting people are always taken

Nowadays, many women and men share a limiting belief about people availability. In men it often takes the form of the belief : Interesting or hot or beautiful women are always taken.
With women it often likes “Good guys or real men are always taken” or the worse form “Nowadays there is no longer any real men or good guys”. Sometime it has an age element a belief that younger is better or only the younger can secure an interesting man. Men have also something like this in the belief that to secure a so-called particularly beautiful or hot woman, a man needs to be rich or famous. Those are just belief systems. People with such beliefs create a reality that don’t serve them well and constantly reinforce it with their constant thoughts. It is a vicious circle because often they try to escape that belief system to only reinforce it, they will try to look for an interesting person that is single to only find out that the person is taken. It is not possible to be greater than your belief system, you do not create what you want, you create what you believe.
I have a story that illustrate this defeating strategy perfectly.
Two years ago, I met a woman that I nickname here Clarisse, I was still living in Belgium, Clarisse was interested in me and she asked me if I was single, I told her I was single.
Then she didn’t believe it, she said I must have someone somewhere. It telegraphed to me that Clarisse was quite insecure this turned me off. She had that belief that the people she is attracted to are taken and unavailable, She also believed that younger women were better than her. One time she saw my photostream on Flickr and she commented that I’m mostly with younger girls than her. In fact, she only focused on the pictures were I’m with younger folks and sometime also the folks that are my age look younger.
If you see the picture with my friends from Madrid , you will think that we are all in the mid-20’s when we are all older than that.
At some point, she proposed we do something together. She invited me to spend a week end in the countryside somewhere in the middle of France. However, at the last minute she spoiled it, she cancelled. At that point, I understood she has a defeating belief she did not allow her to get what she wanted because she believed it was not possible. Here, I lost complete interest in Clarisse. Two months passed before I heard from her again she contacted me and she proposed we do something together and we try to build something together from a clean slate however, it was too late for Clarisse because I met someone and that someone was one year older than me. I told Clarisse I was with someone I cannot go with her anymore, Clarisse then vanished for like a year. Then I heard again from her during the summer 08, she asked news about me, may be, in the hope that I was single again. I told her I was with someone but this time she went to check my photostream and at the time the last pictures were the one with my current girlfriend. She noticed that my girlfriend is 10 years younger than her. This makes her belief fulfilled with military level clockwork precision.

1 – when I had an older girlfriend , she didn’t see , she ignored that information
2 – when I was single she sabotaged ALL the opportunities to get to know each other better.
3 – when I went with a younger girlfriend , she saw her.

She used her limiting beliefs as a filter to shape her reality and reinforce it. It was a drama for her to experience and for me to observe and learn from.
You see if an area of your life isn’t working, it is because you have a limiting belief in that area. If you happen to tell to yourself “It doesn’t work” do not look for something on the outside but look inside.

It is why it is important to be an observer because by observing it will be very apparent to you that you are not attempting to change your beliefs but you are reinforcing them all the time. Look at your inner dialogue for a solid day and see how incredible amount of time you are focusing upon reinforcing your condition.

If you want to change you will have to build new beliefs and reinforce them. This is very easy if you use visualisation and affirmations the trick is to not debate or doubt the new beliefs by using the old ones to filter them. That’s why early in the morning or when you wake up is a great time to implement new beliefs, you can use 10 minutes in the morning to do that, after you will be too busy in your daily activity to sabotage the work you did in the morning. Most people will start to see change if they keep that routine after at least 30 days. Also sometime it will be necessary to adjust the affirmation. For instance someone may start to implement the belief “I attract my perfect lover” but have a strong feeling of self-worthlessness then it will be necessary to take that into account and change the belief into “I’m a worthy person and I attract my perfect lover” or “Because, I’m a worthy person, I attract my perfect lover”.

Well, because a button in their pain body has been pushed. I know woman who can’t seem to genuinely fall in love, when she does she immediately end the relationship….why good people do bad things:)
She has unresolved issues and she isnt ready to face them.

Thats why system like EFT are so good to heal and clean up these things assuming the person is ready.
There is a book out there about the issues in the emotional body, look at the Youtube video to have an idea: