Nov

The Mastery of Love:forgiveness

The Mastery of Love : A personal guide to the art of relationship by Don Miguel Ruiz is an excellent book about love, self-appreciation and indeed the art of making harmonious relationship with friends, spouse, children or anyone important in your life.
Many people tell me that they cannot forgive, I want to share a piece of the book about forgiveness.

…There was a time when we were children when forgiveness was our instinct. Before we caught the mental disease, it was effortless and natural to forgive. We used to forgive others almost right away. If you see two children playing together, and they start to fight and hit each other, the children cry and run to their mothers. “Hey, she hit me!” One mother goes to talk with the other mother. The two mothers have a big fight, and five minutes later the two children are playing together again as if nothing happened. Now the mothers hate each other for the rest of their lives.
It is not that we need to learn forgiveness, because we are born with the capacity for forgiveness. But guess what happened ? We learned the opposite behavior, and we practiced the opposite behavior, and now forgiveness is very difficult. Whoever does something to us, forget it, that’s it, she is out of your life. It becomes a war of pride. Why? Because our personal importance grows when we don’t forgive; It makes our opinion more important when we can say, “Whatever she does, I will not forgive her. What she did is unforgivable.”

The real problem is pride. Because of pride, because of honor, we add more fire to the injustice to remind ourselves that we cannot forgive. Guess who is going to suffer and accumulate more and more emotional poison? We are going to suffer for all kinds of things people do around us, even though they have nothing to do with us.

We also learn to suffer just to punish whoever abused us. We behave like a little child having tantrum, just asking for attention. I’m hurting myself just to say, ‘Look at what I m doing because of you’.
It is a big joke, but that’s exactly what we do. What we really want to say is ,’ God, forgive me,” but we will not say until God comes and asks us for forgiveness first….

…Create an act of power and forgive yourself for everything you have done in your whole life.

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