Self-worthlessness and personal development
What the difference between those two guys ?
I think that the guy who completed the program has no fear of living, he decided to say ‘yes’ to himself. He chose a program he thought was good, he stick to it until he could see changes.
I think that what we get in life is mostly what we accept, what we do not accept , we don’t get. We have what I call ‘jumpers’ , they are the people going from one self-help program to another without achieving anything, they are saying ‘no’ to themselves, they are scared of living, they say they want to change but secretly they have no plan to change, so they start a self-help program, if it works then they will immediately stop it and start something else, this is the pattern with them.
They don’t want to change, they are many reasons for this, one of the main reason is a belief that they aren’t not worthy people, they believe that they do not deserve. If one hold such a belief no matter what self-help program he chooses it will be a failure, to succeed it is important to say ‘yes’.
The more you accept yourself the bigger the things you can achieve. How do you know when someone is not accepting herself or himself ? that person usually has a lot of self-judgements and many doubts about the course of action to take.
Because of their belief in self-worthlessness ,they often doubt that the decision they took was a good one, they will debate their decision and quickly conclude that a change has to be made, usually, it comes up with feelings , a kind of discomfort will appear in the case of an individual following a personal development program, changing or slacking off on the program will be seen as a solution to relieve from that discomfort. Once they stop the program they don’t feel like starting it again unless they hear of friends or people having amazing results with that program then they might find an impulse to give it a second change but usually their inner belief in self-worthlessness will get to them.
Many but not all of such people are completely unaware of that sense of self-worthlessness that make them fail any self help program, when one area of their life isn’t working they usually blame some sort of outside condition for instance, if they cant make a relationship, they will keep saying how imperfect people are and that the good person for them is the perfect person, such dialogue should cue them that the very need of meeting someone perfect is a belief in one’s own imperfection which is a branch on a tree leading to the root belief of self-worthlessness.
Usually they can move on toward ‘positive’ changes when they recognize they hold such a belief, the first thing they have to do is to find their own worthiness.
They have to feel their own achievements, creativity and qualities. They should also give up on the framework of ‘fixing one’s life’ such framework implicitly recognizes that something is wrong, now, if you are ill and it is fine to look for healing, however, no matter the things happening in life they happen for a good purpose and not ‘because the individual is wrong and need to be fixed’. Some people learn a lot from seemly tragic events .
It is important for a person believing in worthlessness to not identify backward, I recognize that this is difficult to do and demand discipline, only the present matter, from a decision in the present an individual can change herself or himself for the better.
If such individual really put her nose on the present then she allows herself not to concentrate on a past event, however, the present feels empty that’s what most people don’t like about it , they prefer the safety in feelings of the known territory called the past which trap them in reproducing and reinforcing the conditions they seek to detach themselves from.
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