I read an interesting post on a blog called ApproachAnxiety.com about a guy from New York City complaining that he hasn’t had a date in sixth months and that he is in a dry spell .

He wrote:

It was the approach anxiety. Every time I took things into my own hands to approach a woman I didn’t know, it ended miserably. Horribly.

Believe me, I rarely did it. I had 50,000 excuses as to why I shouldn’t do it. So whenever I did, my body was a mess. I walked away feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet. Like I just did something nobody should ever do.

And they were everywhere around me. Just out of reach. Beautiful women.
I lived in New York City. Downtown. You couldn’t walk a block without seeing an attractive woman. I would look at the guys they were with and wonder what they had that I didn’t have.
Looks? Money? Style? Somehow I suspected they were just running in social circles I wasn’t. I had friends, but somehow I was never very good at just hanging out and socializing.

This is amazing to read this because my experience of New York City. Downtown is completely opposed. In my case fear of approaching women didn’t matter because as soon as I arrived in New York City, I kept being approached by interesting girls, that was crazy, I went to Central Park and bang 3 girls came to me, I went to some shop on Amsterdam Avenue and bam again a tall blonde approached me to tell me how cool my hairstyle is and blah blah ….

Girls in the streets and the subways made inviting friendly smiles, I said to myself this city is paradise, nice women kept coming at me the whole time I was in New York.

Eric from ApproachAnxiety.Com also wrote:

If I’ve learned anything from living in New York City for the past 8 years, it’s that happiness doesn’t come to you. You need to go out and make it happen.

It seems that he ran a lot of defeating self-talk also his post seems to subtext that he feels he is not enough. He thinks he lacks , look , money and social charm or whatever.

I think that in these conditions it is important to change attitude because your attitude will condition your experience, the more defeating self-talk you run the more you will reinforce a negative belief and this is what you will get.

To be successful a switch in attitude is required, ok, it is not easy, if for years you were not successful you probably surrounded yourself with evidence of this, so now, If you focus on success it might not happen overnight although the speed of change depend greatly of your allowance or acceptance of making a change in belief, you create and attract what you accept.

For that man to be successful in meeting women, he should focus on the feelings that he will have if this thing happen, now, many start and quickly quit because they don’t see instant result, to see a result your thought must be transcended into an emotion that you will feel in your entire body, do you understand ?

A winner feels victory in his entire body. The first thing to learn is to believe in yourself, you know , you do not believe in yourself when you keep comparing yourself to others.

That why if you want to create a change, you have to picture it in your mind and repeat it over and over until it becomes an emotion, once, you have an emotion you have to reinforce it and amplify it; this is the way lasting change are made.

When you will start resistances will show up telling you how inadequate you are, this is very good, welcome these doubts and resistances, it does mean that you are actually working on changing yourself.

Keep at it with visualisation, affirmations or whatever is your method of change until your change appear in your life.

Me to think that may be that I should move to New York run workshop and demonstrate the stuffs I’m talking here.

Technorati Tags: approach anxiety, woman, girls, new york city, success

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