Apr

Rigpa, forgiveness and more on crying during meditation

I want to share an interesting experience I had a couple of months ago while doing the ‘love meditation’, I initially posted someplace else put I will put it here too.
When we cry during meditation there is an emotional release usually it helps to improve of our emotional body. The experience below is a full healing of emotional wounds that were stored in my emotional body.

I sat for the third session of the love meditation, then the memory of that young woman who took away my electronic game and never gave it back to me emerged; it was some 24 years ago when I was 7 years old, I had resentment for that woman during the whole schoolyear. I tried to forgive her with affirmations during my meditation but it didn’t work, the thin energy of forgiveness through affirmations wasn’t strong enough to eradicate that big dark cloud of resentment that was into me.
So I changed my approach I remembered that many schoolmates went to her to ask if she could give my game back and she always replied that she doesn’t have the game.
So I told to myself may be she gave it to another little boy , may be she made another little boy happy, my point of power is in the now, I have a big powerful PC, I have another powerful laptop computer I have my house full high tech toys and I have money to buy more, I can go on holiday almost every month, what I complain for ?
At that point I was filled with appreciation and I was able to transfer that appreciation to that girl then something happened. The memory vanished , I mean it completely vanished , I had a sense of gratitude from her, that she is happy that a freed her from the resentment and then a new memory emerged of her giving me an electronic game and making me very happy. Now, I can’t say if this is really a new memory because for me, when I think about it , it sound like this is the original event and the resentment episode is something I made up in my mind, it sound fake by now, it sound like an invention of mine, I can only relate to it because I took notes of it.

To give you an analogy imagine that in your bedroom you have a single-person size bed then you go out of your bedroom then you come back and there you have a queen-size bed however you have no memory of your single-person size bed, now you see pictures of your bedroom with that single-person size and then you question yourself , what happened ? however, you can only speculate that in some alternated past you had another type of bed, but you don’t know for sure, the memory of it is erased from your brain, completely.

When I think of this girl now, I’m filled with joy, I tried brute-force to remember the so called original event, I can’t, instead I end up with memories of me being happy and playing my game. I can’t find the resentment for that girl anymore it is gone . Now, something else happened a couple of minutes after the session my old sense of humour that I lost long ago came back. There is that girl who has a crush on me, usually when I think about her I got irritated this time I laughed I made fun pictures in mind of her crushing even more due to my newfound radiance then I went for another meditation where I have to lie down and reach a state of mind awake and body asleep I use a product called the Gateway Experience from the Monroe Institute for that, well I couldn’t reach the state because I laughed , I laughed so much during the whole session I was thinking to a recording of Klaus when he talked about replacing money with chickens and the chickens not enjoying it.
Can you imagine money replaced by chickens , you go at the grocery and

You: 1 box of coffee
Clerk : ok, two chickens
Chicken 1: arkkkk, we are used as money now
Chicken 2: hehehehe, a talking chicken I have never seen one of those before.
Chicken 1: Well, pal , I have never seen a chicken used as a 5 dollars bill neither.
Chicken 2: Shut your mouth, sick fried chicken you will end up at KFC as nugget anyway.
Chicken 1: (farting)
You to the clerk: Can I have the coffee
Clerk: Sure, I wish we could go back to paper money
Chicken 1 and 2 together: Shh, We are cooked!

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